The Wacky Circumference: Critics Choice Awards Update!!!

Tomorrow, The 13th Annual Critics Choice Awards air on VH1, (Yeah, random right?) and I believe it's the first of the major awards shows broadcast on television.

Here are some of my predictions for who should, and will, win.

BEST DOCUMENTARY- I've heard good things about "The King of Kong," but it will probably go to "Sicko," or "No End in Sight."

BEST COMPOSER- Too bad Stephen Sondheim isn't allowed to be nominated, but Greenwood's score for "There Will Be Blood," is equally as creepy.

BEST SONG- Although I hated "Once," the nominated song, "Falling Slowly," is quite beautiful.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM- Some very strong nominees in this category, but I think it's between "Diving Bell," and "4 Months."

BEST PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION- "Tin Man?"

BEST FAMILY FILM- This category doesn't make sense. Everyone knows that family films suck. Fine then, "Hairspray" it is.

BEST COMEDY- Wait, "Hairspray" is nominated for Best Comedy as well??? That's just gay, but it doesn't matter, because this award is going to CFA Winner "Superbad." Or "Juno," which is also nominated for Best Picture? Get your shit together Critics Choice Awards.

BEST YOUNG ACTRESS- Um, no.

BEST YOUNG ACTOR- If this doesn't go to Edward Sanders, for his chilling performance in "Sweeney Todd," someone will be hurt. You better watch yourself Freddie Highmore.....

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE- "Persepolis," or "Ratatouille." That is the question.

BEST WRITER- I would like this to go to Diablo Cody for "Juno," but it will most likely go to the Coen Bro's, for "No Country."

BEST DIRECTOR- Here's where it gets messy. Tim Burton rocks, so I would want him to win. Sidney Lumet is 83, or something, and was able to direct a kick-ass awesome movie. And the Coen Bro's, well they're just amazing at life. So who will it be? Um, your face?

BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE- All together now. S-W-E-E-N-E-Y T-O-D-D.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS- If a woman doesn't get recognition for playing Bob Dylan, then we might as well give the Oscar for Best Picture to "Norbit."

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR- Sorry P.S.H, your awesomeness will have to slide this time. Javier's got it in the bag.

BEST ACTRESS- Do the Ellen Page Dance.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

BEST ACTOR- On the one hand, Daniel Day-Lewis is the finest actor of this generation, and his methods of acting cannot be matched, and his performance has been critically acclaimed across the land. On the other hand, Johnny Depp.
This is a tough one.

BEST PICTURE- So, there are 10 nominees, (What the fudge!) but here are the ones that actually are good, and have a chance of winning:

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Juno
No Country For Old Men
Sweeney Todd
There Will Be Blood

Wait, that equals five. the number of nominees you usually have! What the hell are these other 5 doing here!!!!

So, I would be happy if any of these five won, preferably the bottom three.

That's it for "The Wacky Circumference." Tune in next time when we discuss the winners, and predict the winners of the Golden Globes, if it even airs.....