Shit, there are so many things that I must say, starting......NOW!!!
The Golden Globes have magically transformed into a news broadcast.
CRITICS CHOICE AWARD WINNERS:
BEST DOCUMENTARY- Good for you Michael Moore, you big sack of crap. Now run along, and go and continue hating America.
BEST COMPOSER- Told you guys. Jonny Greenwoods creepy score won. Creepy always wins. Always.
BEST SONG- "Falling Slowly" is beautiful, and it won. I am a great guesser.
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM- "Diving Bell" rocks in the face. More on that later.
BEST TV MOVIE- Something won. I don't care. Life goes on.
BEST FAMILY FILM- "Enchanted" eh? Yeah, I got nothing.
BEST COMEDY- Fine then, don't go with the CFA'S, but you'll be sorry.
BEST YOUNG ACTRESS- Nikki Blonsky, um, yeah fine.
BEST YOUNG ACTOR- All those who for some reason can't tolerate bad language, don't read the following. (Clears throat.) Fuck you, Kite Runner Kid.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE- It's pronounced, "obviousness." Ratatouille won for those who don't know.
BEST WRITER- Yeah, Diablo's pretty rockin'.
BEST DIRECTOR- Well, it wasn't your face, but it was the Coen Bro's. Yes.
BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE- Will Sweeney get no justice???
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS- Amy Ryan, shwatever.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR- Javier. Nice
BEST ACTRESS- Wait, why aren't you guys doin' the Ellen Page dance? No, don't you dare go do the Julie Christie dance. No, NOOOO!!!! Shit.
BEST ACTOR- Daniel Day-Lewis.
BEST PICTURE- No Country For Old Awesome is it's "real title," am I right?
Next....
Walk Hard Rocks.
As does this other crazy film I just saw called "Interstella 5555." Don't ask.
I saw Diving Bell the other night. Freakin' Awesome. It's quite possible to win Best Picture.
And "The Seafarer" is quite good.
Got to Fly, the great ones, they call me.
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